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Skeleton Jokes |
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- Q: Who won the skeleton
beauty contest?
A: No body
- Q: What do skeletons say
before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit !
- Q: When does a skeleton
laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.
- Q: Why didn't the skeleton
dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with.
- Q: What type of art do
skeletons like?
A: Skull tures
- Q: What did the skeleton say
when his brother told a lie?
A: You can't fool me, I can see right through you.
- Q: What did the skeleton say
while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
A: I'm bone to be wild!
- Q: Why didn't the skeleton
dance at the party?
A: He had no body to dance with.
- Q: What do you give a
skeleton for valentine's day?
A: Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.
- Q: Who was the most famous
skeleton detective?
A: Sherlock Bones.
- Q: Who was the most famous
French skeleton?
A: Napoleon bone-apart
- Q: What instrument do
skeletons play?
.A: Trom-BONE.
- Q: What does a skeleton
orders at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs!!!
- Q: When does a skeleton
laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.
- Q: Why didn't the skeleton
eat the cafeteria food?
A: Because he didn't have the stomach for it!
- Q: Why couldn't the skeleton
cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts.
- Q: Why are skeletons usually
so calm ?
A: Nothing gets under their skin !
- Q: Why do skeletons hate
winter?
A: Beacuse the cold goes right through them !
- Q: Why are graveyards so
noisy ?
A: Beacause of all the coffin !
- Q: Why didn't the skeleton
go to the party ?
A: He had no body to go with !
- Q: What happened when the
skeletons rode pogo sticks ?
A: They had a rattling good time !
- Q: Why did the skeleton go
to hospital ?
A: To have his ghoul stones removed !
- Q: How did the skeleton know
it was going to rain ?
A: He could feel it in his bones !
- Q: What's a skeleton's
favourite musical instrument ?
A: A trom-bone !
- Q: How do skeletons call
their friends ?
A: On the telebone !
- Q: What do you call a
skeleton who won't get up in the mornings ?
A: Lazy bones !
- Q: What do boney people use
to get into their homes ?
A: Skeleton keys !
- Q: What do you call a
skeleton who acts in Westerns ?
A: Skint Eastwood !
- Q: What happened to the boat
that sank in the sea full of piranha fish ?
A: It came back with a skeleton crew !
- Q: What do you call a
skeleton snake ?
A: A rattler !
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Mummy Jokes |
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- Q: Where do mummies go for a
swim?
A: To the dead sea
- Q: Why was the mummy so
tense?
A: He was all wound up.
- Q: Why don't mummies take
vacations?
A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
- Q: Why couldnt the mummy
come outside?
A: Because he was all wrapped up!
- Q: What is a Mummies'
favorite type of music?
A: Wrap!!!!!
- Q: Why don't mummies take
vacations?
A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
- Q: What kind of girl does a
mummy take on a date ?
A: Any old girl he can dig up !
- Q: Why did the mummy leave
his tomb after 1000 years ?
A: Because he thought he was old enough to leave home !
- Q: Where do mummies go if
they want to swim ?
A: The Dead Sea !
- Q: Why were ancient Egyptian
children confused ?
A: Because their daddies were mummies !
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Witch Jokes |
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- Q: Why don't angry witches
ride their brooms?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle!
- Q: What do witches put on
their hair?
A: Scare spray
- Q: How does the witch know
what time it is?
A: She looks at her witch-watch.
- Q: What is a witch's
favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling!
- Q: What did the witch do
when her broomstick broke?
A: She witch-hiked!
- Q: What does a witch kid
want for Christmas?
A: A haunted dollhouse.
- Q: Why do witches wear name
tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which!
- Q: How do witches tell time?
A: With a witch watch.
- Q: What do you call two
witches living together?
A: Broom-mates.
- Q: What does a witch ask for
when she is in a hotel?
A: Broom service.
- Q: What did one witch say to
other when she asked for a lift?
A: "There's always broom for one more."
- Q: When do witches cook
their victims?
A: On Fry Day.
- Q: What do you call a witch
who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.
- Q: What do you call a
motorbike that belongs to a witch?
A: A brrrooooommmm stick
- Q: Who was the most famous
witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes
- Q: What do they teach in
witching school?
A: Spelling.
- Q: Why does a witch ride a
broom?
A:Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.
- Q: What do you call a
witch's garage?
A:A broom closet.
- Q: What did the witch do
when her broomstick broke?
A:She witch-hiked!
- Q: What do witches eat at
Halloween ? A:Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and
booberry pie !
- Q: What story do little
witches like to hear at bedtime ?
A:Ghoul deluxe and the three scares !
- Q: How does a witch tell the
time ?
A:With a witch watch !
- Q: Why did the witch put her
broom in the washing machine ?
A:She wanted a clean sweep !
- Q: What do you call two
witches that share a room ?
A:Broom mates !
- Q: What noise does a witch's
breakfast cereal make ?
A:Snap, cackle and pop !
- Q: What is a witch with
poison ivy called ?
A:An itchy witchy !
- Q: What's a cold, evil
candle called ?
A:The wicked wick of the north !
- Q: What is evil, ugly and
black and goes round and round ?
A:A witch in a revolving door !
- Q: What is evil and ugly on
the inside and green on the outside ?
A:A witch dressed as a cucumber !
- Q: What happens if you see
twin witches ?
A:You won't be able to see which witch is witch !
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